So many kind words

[balaa]

So many kind words were left to my last comment. I wrote it in the passion of the moment, I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug and you were all there. Perhaps it is just cyberspace, but I feel your presence so strongly through the words you wove to guide me, lift me and carry me through a rough patch. It's ironic, in hindsight I am not surprised I broke down as I did..it was/is a year to the date all that horrible stuff happened. Most of you do not know what happened but I don't care to go much into it again. It involved a true hurt that haunts me even now from the person I trusted for over 20 years of my life above anyone else. I have forgiven,though even thats an involved situation,..but scars take time to heal.

I would just like to extend a heartfelt thank you to all your words, they honestly brought and are still bringing tears to my eyes. I feel again and again blessed to be a part of such a community and even to have a tiny sliver of a place in your hearts. You are all what makes it worthwhile to go on, you give me the strength and courage to face tomorrow. Amazing what a few words can do for one's resolve.

I wish you all the very best of Holiday seasons. May all your wishes and resolutions come to pass.


And now for something complleeteeellyyy different!



yuh..scary




Badge commission for Lizkay, though she isn't gonna use it for a badge XD still :D

I have a bit of tweaking top do on it yet but Lizkay, by all means use it as you like :)..I trust ya! I will send you a bigger version via e-mail and get the print made up tonight. Thank ya again for trusting me with her.



Foxfire icon..hope I got your chara right :).

and
finished version of that on dev. Erm..I need to edit the description, uploaded it right after the talk with my mom.

X_thor and Chika, havent forgotten about your icons. Patches, will start prelims as soon as I can, Kcrayven same..I'll send you a prelim of mid soon as I work it up. Guyver, will send your print as sooon as I have the chance to get to the post office. Firespace, haven't forgotten about your sketch commission, need to sit down and do a nice job of it.

I want to do more gift art, perhaps the spirit of the season shall usher new ideas and inspirations.

OH and deviant seems to still be toying with me, whats it been almost 2 months now? well im tired of their games.

Comments

[iki-pueo.livejournal.com]

Much love for you.

And dear lord, your shadowing work is just bloody awesome. Look at that gryphon. It couldn't be more perfect!

[mottled-kitten.livejournal.com]

Gawds, I need to get a commission from you. ;)

[kcravenyote.livejournal.com]

Wow, now those are nice arts. I adore your coloring. <3

Still would love a badge of KaHaTeNi. xD

[upon-raven-wing.livejournal.com]

Looking great.*envies how popular you are*
Wish I knew how to make icons like you, maybe then someone would comission me.

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Popularity has its pitfalls...I used to not think that..now I know it all too well. *snugs you* I'd say play around with different techniques, I came up with the shiny look purely by accident when one night I hadn't the slightest bit of inspiration and just set about to do random painty icons.

[upon-raven-wing.livejournal.com]

I can see how having so many people wanting to commission you can be stressful, aswell as dealing with art thieves etc. I can't really afford any new paint programs or even a table, so I have to color everything with a mouse(so I'm very limited to as far as I can go).
It just seems in my opinion unless your well known, it's hard to get your foot in the door.
Just very frustrating.

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

It is hard to get your foot in the door..honestly I don't know how it happened..one day I'm struggling to get noticed and the next WHAM..it was all overnight. I don't know that I much like the idea of the word 'popular' being synonomous with my name..thats because popularity is fickle..it comes as quickly as it goes. I think I was just lucky to suddenly get noticed, nothing more..theres a lot more talented artists than me going unnoticed.

As for a tablet...they are never cheap but I got one of the ones on the lower levels of the rung. Its a wacom, good brand for tablets and I payed just a little over a hundred for it..I was stupid and put it on my credit card..but I think I'm not sorry that I did buy it...it has ben invaluable. As far as programs, I can help there :)..if you need..just say what you want and I will try to get it to you.

[joosephine.livejournal.com]

Hm, sorry for interrupting D:

I bought my tablet from Wacom, but it was pretty cheap, as it was a second hand one xD
They are just as good as a brand new tablet, just cheaper xDDD

If you check wacom.com, I am sure you will find something :3

[kaided.livejournal.com]

You have every right to rant/vent in your own journal. As long as it helps you get better, it's all good. The online community really is something...quite friendly if you know the right people. :3 I'm glad you're feeling better, though. Take it slow?

As for the art...Mrrr...I want your realism skills, so bad. You're quite fast with your artwork as well, it seems. Very...productive?
Lizkay's badge is coming out out wonderfully. As iki_pueo mentioned earlier, your shadowing really is amazing. I always find that to be hard to get, especially with the fur adding more complexity to the picture along with other details. However, I think you did quite nicely. The highlights are coming out real well too. I love that shine, very pretty. As will shadowing, the dimension on the painting is amazing. Very real...very 3d. The facial features are very defined, very nicely shaped. Those eyes are brilliant as well. Very stunning...I can't tell if they're actually fully "realistic" but they look very alive and believable all the same. Very cool style, of course. Very intense colors...very vivid. I adore it quite so. The amount of realism displayed in her beak baffles me as well...I'll never know how you do it.
...Also, I should point out one of the main things that I really admire about your work: the way you can stay so true to the character's original colors and markings yet still make it look realistic. The main color seems to be in the same hues as the actual "cartoon" version of the character...the markings as well. They're very consistent, however you seemed to be able to integrate it into your painting without problem. What I mean is, the markings are very true to the character, very defined in shape and consistent in color, however you manage to make it look realistic all the same. The reason I find this so amazing is the fact that if you were more lacking in skill, the character wouldn't look as real. (Blocks of consistent colors often makes a character look very unrealistic, even with good fur technique. If the integration is flawed, then the piece won't have that realistic "believable" feel to it.) So...erm, kudos. That always stuns me about your work, as I for one find it very difficult to do. Very nice job, as always.

Continuation of comment above (Hahaha, I totally type too much. -broke comment boundaries-)

[kaided.livejournal.com]

I think the same applies to the gift art for Eva and Domi. The consistent markings. I love how defined Eva's triangles are and Domi's stripes too, as a matter of fact. I see different shades and hues in their coats as well, but overall their coats are still very consistent and it looks very much like them. Plus, the hues and different shading really does help with the mood and atmosphere of the piece (with is really quite lovely I might add.) Your DA description stated that you didn't really go into too much detail/refinement (or the like? I'm just recollecting for now...), but personally, I think the piece is fine as it is. The lack of actual "refinement" makes it very soft....not as solid, perhaps? It feels...very dreamy, soft, peaceful. I think it does the atmosphere good that it's not too solid...gives off a nicer impression, if you know what I mean. I also really adore the poses, it's such a cute concept and piece. Evana's hair is done quite beautifully; Their expressions are just darling and those muzzles and faces are gorgeously shaped and drawn. You also draw the most realistic paws, for which I must commend you for I think they are quite hard to nail! I also have a particular fonding for which you painted Eva's tail. Mrr, it's so nice. <---odd
Though one thing, you might want to consider erasing or working on the still-blocked right paw of Evana's. That or take it out because it does hinder the overall illusion of the piece a bit, if you notice it. Otherwise, I don't really know enough about art to critique much. For now, I'll just tell you what I like about your pieces and hopefully that will prove to be helpful as well.

Also, I adore that Foxfire icon. What a pretty character to start with, but your coloring + depiction of it is just...so pretty. It's done very nicely.

Also, if possible (and if you wouldn't mind working with me again), I'd love to order a realism badge from you one you open up again. If you're interested, poke me once you're open for them again? :3 I admit, I can't resist the offer, especially with how amazing these recent paintings of yours have been coming out.
I also really fight the urge to get a full painting from you commissioned one of these days... 2 characters and a background...but I have no idea how much that'd end up as....

Meh, I hope my comment isn't too length and boring. Cheers and keep up the good work? I love seeing these WIPs of yours. They're quite inspiring...do post more once you get the chance. :3

Re: Continuation of comment above (Hahaha, I totally type too much. -broke comment boundaries-)

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

you don't type too much t'all! I enjoy reading your words though somehow I feel I hardly deserve all those wonderful compliments! I think my work still has a ways to grow, in technique and many an other area. But I do appreciate how much you pay attention to all the tiny things that I fear most people won't pick up on in my work.

And yes I liked the way eva's tail turned out too..I dunno why persay. She was HARRRDDDD to paint! You would think white would make it easier..but nothing is ever a pure white in nature, the atmosphere always plays with the hues of any color coat and it shows up most prominently on white coats. I had the hardest time striking a balance between the rich colors of domino and the subdued hues of Evana. I'm honestly not sure how well I succeeded but I had fun. I may tinker around more with it..I had much grander ideas for the bg but I was so upset that night I just wanted to call it done before I messed it up..plus we dont always think clearly when too many other things weigh on the mind x.x. As for the paw, in that version its not finished, in the one on dev it is.

As far as the badges go, I may open up a few more slots after I get a little more caught up just to make some christmas money...but other than that I will probably remain tight on how many I release. I needs to make a list of all those interested though XD.

*snuggle ker gnawwwww*

Re: Continuation of comment above (Hahaha, I totally type too much. -broke comment boundaries-)

[kaided.livejournal.com]

Of course there is always space to grow, but as far as I'm concerned, you're pretty good off so far. ;3 But yes, I love details...I tend to focus on them a lot. Your details really do make your pieces; yours so don't feel that people don't notice them, because I'm sure they do. They have to in order to appreciate the time and effort you put into your pieces. As for compliments, there's nothing else I can really do then pick out the things I like. Like I said, I don't know enough about art to really critique and the like, I'm afraid. :3 But hey, as long as you enjoy or find it useful...either one of the two is good with me.
Yeah, I noticed the variations in the main fur color as well. I really like it; I think that's really the aspect that brings your work to life. The lighting came out pretty good in my opinion. The shades are nice on the eyes, so I'd think its fine. Plus, having fun is really what's important as well. It's not worth it, if you're not having fun. As an artist, you really aren't making much profit either, so you have to enjoy what you do rather then let it stress you out.

Hehe, well do tell us/me [;P] if you open them up again... -wantstocommish. :D-

[fyregryphoness.livejournal.com]

Aw Balaa, you're such a wonderful artist and person...how can anyone not give you a big cyberspace hug when you're feeling down? :D lol. It's quite understandable if you wish to not speak about what happened. In fact, that's not what matters. What really does matter is that you know we all care for you and wish you the best and that you'll feel better soon. ^_^

Very lovely drawings! I really enjoy seeing your artwork in progression. :) It gives me inspiration to keep on trying. I still really stink at CGing fur...but like you said, it takes practice. I've always loved my personal saying of "If you're not born knowing it, it's obviously something you must learn". XD (That especially helps me get through math and biology classes. lol)

Anyway, I really hope you feel better soon. Be sure to take good care of yourself, okay? =) *muchoshugs*

[sandboa.livejournal.com]

Your welcome friend! THats what friends are all about,it would truely be a cold cruel world if friends never helped other friends out,even if it is just some simple words on a screen that does the trick for yas! You are quite a wonderful person even if you might not think it a times. I wish you the best in everything friend, may your holiday season be very wonderful,and full of happy surprises.

Are you still interseted in music friend? Please let me know if you are.
Best of luck to you and yours and have an awsome Turkey Day! ***Big friendly hug to the friendly liger!***

Awesome picture by the way! I am very envious of your awesome talents!:3

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

*hugs the friendly wonderfully genteel dragon* Thank you very much for the words you left for me. You put things in perspective for me. Like you, I try to stay positive but even the the most positive of people can hit a true low...it's a part of life, a part of being human and having feelings. Though I do want you to know your words made a difference, truly lifted me up when I needed it most.

You have an astounding turkey day! I hope you will be surrounded by loved ones and have a day to remember! Stay warm, safe and dry through these holidays! *Friendly cubby pounce and snuggle*

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Oh and yes the music..I had nearly forgotten, by all means!

[dark-jaguar01.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry that I have failed to be there for you again here. I should have commented on your LJ that day. ;; Instead I had that stupid issue thing I do about posting on LJs and just sent you a YIM message instead that night you posted it. I am sorry that you did not get it but it is good that you have all these friends here to help you through this hard time.

I am very glad that you are cheered up now and things seem to be better. You try to find some joy in these holidays and I wish you a happy thanks giving and Christmas. *snugglehugs*

You keep up the great art too, for you are doing an awesome job on these commishs. :) Take care sweetie.

[wolftale.livejournal.com]

Woho! it's lovely ^^
*want my money now*

[joosephine.livejournal.com]

It really cheers me up to see that you are back to your happy, content self n_n Someone as wonderfully kind and friendly like you do not deserve to feel down, but rather to gain the world's appreciation.
*huggles*

[drawinks.livejournal.com]

Beautiful art, as always. Can I commission an icon from you?

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

OOH you wanna do an icon trade??? Id love one of Balaa sort of like you have for your icon *always loved it*

[lizkay.livejournal.com]

The awesomeness! ^__^ I really love the result, your talent is gigantic ;D
I think I will use it like a badge, just without the name on it, we have such "double" badge bands here, where you have pic hanging on the band and a smaller card over it with your name and the other dates on, that's why I wanted the pic without the text ;), YAAY I am so excited!
I hope you feel better now, and that you will have a great holiday season ;) *hugglez*

[skywing.livejournal.com]

I meant to reply to you're other lj post, but I can never find the right words. You really are a lovely person, and your kindness and bright personality are just beautiful. I'd really love to get to know you better, but I know how busy life can be.

The art for Lizkay is spunkytastic as well. :D

[skywing.livejournal.com]

And PS, you like Xeeeeeeeeeeena! I haven't seen her for years, but she was my favourite TV character when I was a kid. ^^

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

YEAH xena RAWKS...Im such a geek XD I love that show even now...albeit I will be the first to admit its much dorkier now than when I was younger XD.

[skywing.livejournal.com]

Argh, Lj's server change has stopped emailing comments to me. Evil thing.
But yes, now it seems so much dorkier than what I remember it, but I still loves her. :P

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, nice way to suck up and not draw artwork for your real friends. Nice excuse to gain popularity too. It makes me sad when people do this; they draw hundreds of pictures and put a lot of effort into pictures for people that aren't even close to them and are supposedly at war with. But you never do gifts for the people who ARE your close friends, maybe people you talk with often and are there for you when you need them. I guess settling a dispute with a popular artist is more important than your friends. Nice.

[(Anonymous)]

"But you never do gifts for the people who ARE your close friends, maybe people you talk with often and are there for you when you need them. "
http://www.deviantart.com/view/17996504/
http://www.deviantart.com/view/22575858/

...Mmhhmm...What were you saying, again?

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Also I find it rather disturbing that someone would take statements made in an emotionally charged situation and use them out of context as fuel for some sort of argument...for what purpose I do not completely understand.

[(Anonymous)]

If you were her real friend, you would be discussing this openly with her.

[nimirpard.livejournal.com]

How courageous of you to speak up and voice your opinion, Anonymous. And what a lovely entitlement complex you have. Just because someone is capable of doing something doesn't mean you're entitled to get it for free. Especially if they also sell their work.

It seems to me like real friends don't pester their friends to give them things. Being someone's friend is about enjoying their company and having things in common, not what they can do for you.

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Oh and I do plenty of gifts for close friends and even folks I don't know all too well that have been wonderful to me. However, when I said that I was very upset and felt that LATELY that was the case, though several very good friends reminded me that it was not the case in the least bit.

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Let's see...suck up..well I suppose I knew that was going to crop up from one corner or another. I told myself I knew that my reasonings were not to gain anything nor suck up so if someone were to think they were that would be their problem not mine. So I shall leave those thoughts in your claim.

As far as settling a dispute, yes I suppose subconsciously that is important to me. I do not like holding grievances against anyone and seeing as these folks put forth an effort to end the dispute this time I thought I would put forth the closing effort. I do want the community I am a part of to have a warm welcome atmosphere and that means we all have to put our past differences aside sometimes and make an effort to better the future/ I do not have to explain myself to an anonymous face, however, I will say this, I did not plan the piece, it came as a spur of the moment thought that I decided to complete. That is none of your business but again if you wish to read deeper into my intentions, do feel free. I know where I stand, you can think what you will of me. I will not lose sleep over this.

[leelakin.livejournal.com]

Whoaaaaaa, lookatthatbeak. O-O ♥

[drewthewolf.livejournal.com]

-Snuggles- Oh they all look soo amazing! What size tablet do you have? Just out of curiousity. ^^

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

I have a wacom graphire 3. its 4x6 so the smallest one out there but I am happy with it yes yes...though of course I would love to get a bigger one..but in the meantime this one seems to do quite well for me :)..so I have no complaints.

[drewthewolf.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was looking into getting one I think I'm going to go for the 6x8 ^^ I'm sure someday you can get a bigger one! <3 It seems to work jut fine though. You take what you can get ;)

[fer-lomarcan.livejournal.com]

and even to have a tiny sliver of a place in your hearts.
I'm say it's bigger than that.

Amazing what a few words can do for one's resolve.
That's usually all I have to offer, but I'm glad it helps.

Awesome job on the art.

I hope you have a good Thanksgiving.

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

itr truly does make a difference, I think you just feel others pulling for you even if they dont know you in person and live quite far away..you guys are here with me in spirit and that makes a hugggeee difference :).

Have a happy Thanksgiving as well!!!