![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
balaaIm starting to do lj cut so for those that don't want to be bothered by my random daily life nonsense dun read...really its mostly very boring but I need to vent.
I hate talking to my mom...she called tonight and when I answered the phone and it was her my heart just sank. Ever since what happened in november I feel betrayed by her. I forgave her even as it happened because thats in my nature. I have forgiven all the people that have in anyway wronged me and given my apologies even if it meant bruising my ego/pride/what have you. But I think with her, just saying Ive forgiven doesn't mean I have. She's my mom and for a long time I was so close to her....but I came to realize the closeness was not really friendship. I was her possession and as long as I did what she wanted, we got along. But as soon as I had someone else in my life she got jealous and wanted me to get rid of them. When I finally started thinking for myself she started to blame everyone around me for us drifting apart. Now my stomach ties in knots whenever she calls me. meh everytime I talk to her on the phone I just end up crying...I dont let her know but she just makes me feel so awful about everyythiiinngg.
Newho..I feel better now, trish, sculleh and dark jag have been cheering me up nicely. You are all such nice people. Thank you all
k im done ranting for now x.x
I hate talking to my mom...she called tonight and when I answered the phone and it was her my heart just sank. Ever since what happened in november I feel betrayed by her. I forgave her even as it happened because thats in my nature. I have forgiven all the people that have in anyway wronged me and given my apologies even if it meant bruising my ego/pride/what have you. But I think with her, just saying Ive forgiven doesn't mean I have. She's my mom and for a long time I was so close to her....but I came to realize the closeness was not really friendship. I was her possession and as long as I did what she wanted, we got along. But as soon as I had someone else in my life she got jealous and wanted me to get rid of them. When I finally started thinking for myself she started to blame everyone around me for us drifting apart. Now my stomach ties in knots whenever she calls me. meh everytime I talk to her on the phone I just end up crying...I dont let her know but she just makes me feel so awful about everyythiiinngg.
Newho..I feel better now, trish, sculleh and dark jag have been cheering me up nicely. You are all such nice people. Thank you all
k im done ranting for now x.x
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-07 03:51 pm (UTC)Guess that`s what EVERY mother says to their child. :P
On the one hand I think that`s right ´cause I can`t imagine that she wants to make you feel bad intentionally.But on the other one, well, only because she`s your mother doesn`t mean she knows what`s best for you.I had SO many discussions with my Mom ´cause she was convinced I was discontent with my life and that I had to meet people more often and whatnot.She can`t understand that I have my own way of living my life and that it`s almost the complete opposite of hers.
Aaargh, I`m rambling again. XD
So what I wanted to say was :
Live your life the way you want, it`s YOUR life, not your mother`s.
I hope you two will be able to trust each other again some time.Hey, maybe she`ll finally understand that she has no right making you feel bad...
*hugs* ^___^