A Rant about what else? Art

[balaa]

Recently Daisy 7 posted a journal saying that there were a few folks that compared her art to mine. I suppose I should see that as flattering but moreso I guess I kinda see it as insulting to her. Really she has been doing the realism stuff longer than me...and I truly see why people adore her stuff so much. Its something Ive always wanted to do but for some reason could not get a handle of until very recently when I finally started unlocking photoshop's true capacity...that and I haven't had a tablet all that long XD.

Its funny...when I get commissioned to do realistic type stuff, I wonder if Im really that good. I have always bouted my self esteem when it comes to my art(lets not even talk about the person behind it). I wonder if people want art from me now because they really think Im that good or if its popularity...which for whatever reason I seem to be gaining on deviant. Some days I ride high, feeling good and enjoying the attention...moreso the truly nice things people say to me...and then there are days where the snyde mean comments of the past attack me and I just tend to feel miserable and want to remove myself from all the world. I dont want anyone to feel I am doing something malicious to them, especially other artists like Daisy who are just wonderful all on their own. The realism type stuff I do is close to my heart...I cant even say I have a style of my own when it comes to it..Id like to think there is uniqueness to the way I do certain things..but sometimes I wonder ..is there? Is there anything special about my pieces? But when people say I copied something, especially of my newer realistic type stuff, it stings the most because of how much time I spend on it and how much..heart I try to put into each and every piece.

Its a funny place the art world. One day you are everyones friend and the next all the people you thought liked you turn their back on you. I realize this is just online but to me...the people I meet online I treat like people I meet in person. Why? Because 1. I met my best friend online and then went on to meet in person and she has changed my life and 2. I met my fiance online and likewise he has changed my life. So I guess whilst some people may think I wear a falsa facade of 'nice'...I am not...I present myself as who I am in person, nothing more..nothing less. I always wanted to think the art world would not have the nasty politics most every other corner of the world had..because this has and always will be my only true place of refuge. But I was dead wrong. In my short time on the scene, Ive faced my share of indignation and watched others do the same. Art should not be a dirty game of getting ahead...it should be a place we can all call sanctuary.

But this won't happen and unfortunately today I find myself being the realist and lacking heavily the bouncy exuberant optimisim I usually display.

All of us continue everyday to grow as artists. Perhaps at times our stylistic pathways cross for a momentary lapse. Likely in most cases it is not deliberate, but rather a sub conscious way to explore what other artistic routes are open to us. In the end we follow the path destined in our hearts and find our home in art, something all our own. But never will we stop learning and evolving as people and as artists.

I guess somedays you just wonder if you are moving forward at all because all it feels like is you are backpeddling

Anyway I dont know if this rant has any point at all...but I guess I just needed to vent....

Comments

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

HAHA! sometimes I wonder if other people do see a Balaa trait in work. Like Ill be browsing deviant and Ill see a pic and automatically I will know "Thats Shaydes stuff..or Cat's etc" But I wondered if people could do the same with my work since I tend to err jump around so much.

I know there are bits and pieces of different styles in my toony work....unfortunately these days you cant readily admit that. Most of it is likely completely self conscious, a means to explore outside of the box. I got so tired of being labelled just a tlk fan artist and since I got my tablet roughly a year ago..Ive had the chance to explore more without being handicapped by paint shop pro. I delved more into photoshop and started unlocking its hidden doorways. So if my style resembles another..its not a matter of me malisciously trying to run them over...its me learning and growing with something still quite new to me.

I say bravo to places like deviant, just like for you...the place has been a goldmine of inspiration. It makes me just want to keep growing, keep trying new things.

[celty.livejournal.com]

I think it's the floofyness of your more 'toony stuff. You draw floof in a particular way. And your realism is instantly recognizable because of those EYES. They're always so stunning.

I should really get into Photoshop.. I've been meaning to for ages, but it scares me, lol. There're like 4378472 different options for everything. I'm not very good at remembering how to do things.

I agree about the goldmine of inspiration bit. It does get a little overwhelming sometimes though, when you come across x number of AMAZING artists that are on such a higher level than yourself and are around the same age or younger. For me, it can be a sort of double-edged sword. Jealousy has motivated me in the past to get better with my art, but it has also made me kind of..I don't know. Not depressed, but just sort of..left me feeling uberly inferior, and the inspiration goes out the window. Lj has been great though. There are so many helpful communities on here that provide dozens of tutorial links, and R&C has been a life-saver. And I'm rambling o__O *Goes away*

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Its funny but you are very right...people arent as brave as you to admit that jealousy does come into play a lot when it comes to art. Even Im willing to admit it helps me push myself a lot....asking yourself "If they can why cant I?"

And yes sometimes it can be rather intimidating seeing other enormously talented people only to find out they are younger than you :P. Well just remember, us old fogies were not introduced to the internet and places like deviant until our late teens...what can ya do? We all evolve at our own rates...ya just gotta give yourself time..however frustrating that may be sometimes..and I do know that feeling all too well. I still get it more often than I would like to admit. Ive only worked with ps for about a year..this month..actually..is my one year anniversary with both ps and my tablet...soooo ifn ya think it takes forever to learn the program and jump in skill levels...look at me....I mean gods I cant believe (looking back) that its only been a year...holy fudgecakes (mmm fudge)

SO really, the one that that determines how far ya are gonna get is your own will...and just how bull headed are you ;). I for one am probably...waaaayyyyy too bullheaded for my own good.

*pets cha* and if ya ever need tips or get lost in ps, ashk meh...Ill be more than willing to try and help out :)..or help find some good tutorials on things you are looking to do. Deviant actually has quite a few :).

[celty.livejournal.com]

XD Happy Anniversary. I hope you two have been very happy together :P But seriously, I didn't realize you'd only been using them that long. *Is impressed* o__O

:) Thankies. Although that's a dangerous thing to say..you'll probably get a few thousand questions a day XD

"Um...how do you change the brush size?!>!!>2£r3" *Brain falls out on the pavement*