A Rant about what else? Art

[balaa]

Recently Daisy 7 posted a journal saying that there were a few folks that compared her art to mine. I suppose I should see that as flattering but moreso I guess I kinda see it as insulting to her. Really she has been doing the realism stuff longer than me...and I truly see why people adore her stuff so much. Its something Ive always wanted to do but for some reason could not get a handle of until very recently when I finally started unlocking photoshop's true capacity...that and I haven't had a tablet all that long XD.

Its funny...when I get commissioned to do realistic type stuff, I wonder if Im really that good. I have always bouted my self esteem when it comes to my art(lets not even talk about the person behind it). I wonder if people want art from me now because they really think Im that good or if its popularity...which for whatever reason I seem to be gaining on deviant. Some days I ride high, feeling good and enjoying the attention...moreso the truly nice things people say to me...and then there are days where the snyde mean comments of the past attack me and I just tend to feel miserable and want to remove myself from all the world. I dont want anyone to feel I am doing something malicious to them, especially other artists like Daisy who are just wonderful all on their own. The realism type stuff I do is close to my heart...I cant even say I have a style of my own when it comes to it..Id like to think there is uniqueness to the way I do certain things..but sometimes I wonder ..is there? Is there anything special about my pieces? But when people say I copied something, especially of my newer realistic type stuff, it stings the most because of how much time I spend on it and how much..heart I try to put into each and every piece.

Its a funny place the art world. One day you are everyones friend and the next all the people you thought liked you turn their back on you. I realize this is just online but to me...the people I meet online I treat like people I meet in person. Why? Because 1. I met my best friend online and then went on to meet in person and she has changed my life and 2. I met my fiance online and likewise he has changed my life. So I guess whilst some people may think I wear a falsa facade of 'nice'...I am not...I present myself as who I am in person, nothing more..nothing less. I always wanted to think the art world would not have the nasty politics most every other corner of the world had..because this has and always will be my only true place of refuge. But I was dead wrong. In my short time on the scene, Ive faced my share of indignation and watched others do the same. Art should not be a dirty game of getting ahead...it should be a place we can all call sanctuary.

But this won't happen and unfortunately today I find myself being the realist and lacking heavily the bouncy exuberant optimisim I usually display.

All of us continue everyday to grow as artists. Perhaps at times our stylistic pathways cross for a momentary lapse. Likely in most cases it is not deliberate, but rather a sub conscious way to explore what other artistic routes are open to us. In the end we follow the path destined in our hearts and find our home in art, something all our own. But never will we stop learning and evolving as people and as artists.

I guess somedays you just wonder if you are moving forward at all because all it feels like is you are backpeddling

Anyway I dont know if this rant has any point at all...but I guess I just needed to vent....

Comments

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

Will do and the same to you..don't let your little brother drive you too batty ;).

*feels a looot betttteerrr*