A Rant about what else? Art

[balaa]

Recently Daisy 7 posted a journal saying that there were a few folks that compared her art to mine. I suppose I should see that as flattering but moreso I guess I kinda see it as insulting to her. Really she has been doing the realism stuff longer than me...and I truly see why people adore her stuff so much. Its something Ive always wanted to do but for some reason could not get a handle of until very recently when I finally started unlocking photoshop's true capacity...that and I haven't had a tablet all that long XD.

Its funny...when I get commissioned to do realistic type stuff, I wonder if Im really that good. I have always bouted my self esteem when it comes to my art(lets not even talk about the person behind it). I wonder if people want art from me now because they really think Im that good or if its popularity...which for whatever reason I seem to be gaining on deviant. Some days I ride high, feeling good and enjoying the attention...moreso the truly nice things people say to me...and then there are days where the snyde mean comments of the past attack me and I just tend to feel miserable and want to remove myself from all the world. I dont want anyone to feel I am doing something malicious to them, especially other artists like Daisy who are just wonderful all on their own. The realism type stuff I do is close to my heart...I cant even say I have a style of my own when it comes to it..Id like to think there is uniqueness to the way I do certain things..but sometimes I wonder ..is there? Is there anything special about my pieces? But when people say I copied something, especially of my newer realistic type stuff, it stings the most because of how much time I spend on it and how much..heart I try to put into each and every piece.

Its a funny place the art world. One day you are everyones friend and the next all the people you thought liked you turn their back on you. I realize this is just online but to me...the people I meet online I treat like people I meet in person. Why? Because 1. I met my best friend online and then went on to meet in person and she has changed my life and 2. I met my fiance online and likewise he has changed my life. So I guess whilst some people may think I wear a falsa facade of 'nice'...I am not...I present myself as who I am in person, nothing more..nothing less. I always wanted to think the art world would not have the nasty politics most every other corner of the world had..because this has and always will be my only true place of refuge. But I was dead wrong. In my short time on the scene, Ive faced my share of indignation and watched others do the same. Art should not be a dirty game of getting ahead...it should be a place we can all call sanctuary.

But this won't happen and unfortunately today I find myself being the realist and lacking heavily the bouncy exuberant optimisim I usually display.

All of us continue everyday to grow as artists. Perhaps at times our stylistic pathways cross for a momentary lapse. Likely in most cases it is not deliberate, but rather a sub conscious way to explore what other artistic routes are open to us. In the end we follow the path destined in our hearts and find our home in art, something all our own. But never will we stop learning and evolving as people and as artists.

I guess somedays you just wonder if you are moving forward at all because all it feels like is you are backpeddling

Anyway I dont know if this rant has any point at all...but I guess I just needed to vent....

Comments

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

*snoogs you like crazy* seems in many respects you and I are very similar. I tend to be very shy at first with people...less online than in person*is really shy in person..but needs to get her butt in gear and get out more and meet nice people like you* x.x

Im glad you like my art..honestly when you commissioned me and I saw your arts I was surprised O_O...because your own stuff is so gorgeous! And seeing as I hardly ever draw foxies, I usually am surprised when someone trusts me enough to draw their foxie chara XD. But enjoy it too because they are wonderfully fun animals to draw.

Herm im a bit concerned to hear that someone had printies of my art at FC O_O because I never said anyone could print meh stuffness. *hunts em down* >_>

*licks you* mebbe someday we can arrange somefin for your chars, not necessarily moneywise...because art isnt just about money. *snoogs* thank you for your words sweetheart...I really need to meet you and Wicked Sairah.

[jl-anderson.livejournal.com]

About the prints, it was just somebody that was showing your stuff off because they wanted people to know about you. That's why I remembered your name. ^_^ They weren't selling them or anything, they just wanted people to know of your artwork because they thought it was wonderful! I don't remember who it was, though. I wanted one of the pictures but they weren't for sale or free or anything.

I'd love to do a trade or something if you ever want! I've wanted to draw Balaa, anyway. ^_^ *hugs!!*

Yeah, I'm pretty shy in person. o_o I'm alot better now but people that know me can tell that I'm really nervous around new people. Maybe sometime we could drive out to see you? I love driving out there. Also, when you are able to drive up to Seattle to visit Sarah, if it feels like too long of a drive you can always stop at my place which is half way from where you live to Sarah's home, I can drive us the rest of the way.

[xxbalaaxx.livejournal.com]

That might actually be nice...bout stopping at your place. At least the first time. I havent driven in a while..kinda a house hermit the last few months so Im nervous to tackle seattle again...specially areas I dont know. Its funny I never had problems with driving until recently, not sure what it is with me...I think I just need to get out more...force myself to. I know my way around seatac and seattle center but thats about it XD...and when I told meh fiance James which exit her house was his responce was "Have fun" and I was like O______@?

Humm...err I was gonna ask where you live but Id rather you not divulge that here. Did I add you to my yim buddy list? I dont remember if I did or not....meh and my poor memory...I just cleaned out my yim list so I wonder ifn I removed your name x.x;

*pokes self in the eye for getting so jumpy* Im sure the person wasnt selling it..urgh feel bad for assuming so....but wow Im flattered that someone would be out there trying to get my name out there O_O. Must find them and give them a hug.

[jl-anderson.livejournal.com]

Heh! Yeah, the exit to get to Sairah's house is rather weird! I know Seattle rather well since I have lots of friends living around there. The West Seattle Bridge can be kind of hard on the nerves if you are not familiar with the area. *laughs* I like that... "Have Fun."

My house is a little weird to get to since I live 10 miles off of the freeway but it is a much calmer drive than anywhere in Seattle. I'll tell you in email or YIM where I live. ^_^ I think you did add me to YIM but I don't see you online. I'm cyahnna on there.

I'll try and find out who that was that was trying to get your name out. I vaguely remember.