I keep in contact with mother because though, expecially now (I won't go into the story of what happened), I realized I had to distance myself from her. James took me away from her and I think I have become a stronger person because of it. However, I keep in contact simply for the fact that 1. she is my mother and however much I hate some of the things she has done(most of which maybe she did not even intend to hurt us) she is still my only mother. 2 I hate holding grudges, hate only destroys me and makes MY life harder and 3. I am still building her website. Other than that I live my own life, I am not exactly a rich person but you know? I am happy and I do what I love for a living. I much rather create art than work in a deadend job that kills my soul slowly. This is what I love and I will continue to do it until I stop loving it.
As for your birthday, it would be nice to see you again, however I have two reservations. If I were to see you again, as long as it has been I'd much rather it be one on one and second I am actually attending an art convention that week so I definetly will be pressed for time. I have made some consderation for going to an art convention in January which is held in San Jose in. I am not sure whether I can or not, but I have no doubt our paths will cross(and hopefully soon). I always wshed you and I would remain close...as you know I was never exactly close to Gert or Igor. I was more the happy medium for everyone, ie the neutral Switzerland in our family. That in itself was not an easy place. I do not keep in contact with Gert, he has some growing up to do before I can face him again and Igor will always be the same way. I do not wish ill on anyone in my family as it does nothing for me to do so. I wish everyone the best their lives can give them and wish them to find ther own happiness. I have forgiven those that have hurt me in the past, some scars have not healed (but time will see to that. After all, those bad things in our lives made us who we are. I would like to believe, however horrible and dark some memories are, they have made us stronger in the end). So I live my life one day at a time and remember to find joy with the small things in life. If you would rather write me, my e-mail is xxbalaaxx@yahoo.com. I check it everyday and certainly it would be much more private to write e-mail rather than here in lj.
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branchandroot
Re: Greetings
Date: 2005-10-04 11:22 pm (UTC)As for your birthday, it would be nice to see you again, however I have two reservations. If I were to see you again, as long as it has been I'd much rather it be one on one and second I am actually attending an art convention that week so I definetly will be pressed for time. I have made some consderation for going to an art convention in January which is held in San Jose in. I am not sure whether I can or not, but I have no doubt our paths will cross(and hopefully soon). I always wshed you and I would remain close...as you know I was never exactly close to Gert or Igor. I was more the happy medium for everyone, ie the neutral Switzerland in our family. That in itself was not an easy place. I do not keep in contact with Gert, he has some growing up to do before I can face him again and Igor will always be the same way. I do not wish ill on anyone in my family as it does nothing for me to do so. I wish everyone the best their lives can give them and wish them to find ther own happiness. I have forgiven those that have hurt me in the past, some scars have not healed (but time will see to that. After all, those bad things in our lives made us who we are. I would like to believe, however horrible and dark some memories are, they have made us stronger in the end). So I live my life one day at a time and remember to find joy with the small things in life. If you would rather write me, my e-mail is xxbalaaxx@yahoo.com. I check it everyday and certainly it would be much more private to write e-mail rather than here in lj.