random updates.

[balaa]

Humm james and I had a stupid spat..sometimes its weird we fight but we both don't know what over exactly. Neither of us are in the wrong persay..but I feel sometimes like he thinks its my fault even though he says its not. Sometimes, I don't think its intentional, he makes me feel completely incompetent..like a small child that needs to be told exactly how to do things. It bug's me because sometimes he will ask me a question as if he is talking down to me..like I am a small child incapable of understanding. I suppose these are the ups and downs of a relationship..but sometimes the small things are what eat me up the most. The saddest part is somedays I do feel completely incompetent....like I can't handle the most mundane of things. I get defensive when he talks talks 'simple' to me or worse when he goes around in circles with his questions and he doesnt even see it. He says he can't read minds but hes no idiot! I know he knows what I mean when I answer his questions and yet he says I need to be more specific. Well damn it I dont fucking know how to be more specific than I am being....what you need me to spell it out for you? HELLO!! I'm with you because you aren't stupid...frigggiin ey...you know exactly what Im saying!!! YOU DO, so stop playing Dumb. When he acts that way it reminds me of my little brother...and god I wanted to strangle him when he acted like that..and the simple fact that James acts like my brother makes me want to yell at him. I haven't spoken to my brother in 2 years..and I don't want the man in my life to turn into my brother. GRAH!!!!!!!!

Also to clarify, when I rant like this..its more just for the sake of ranting. Don't worry about me folks...sometimes just saying something helps you figure out where you stand and make you feel better. K I feel better :D

In other news I just got Chronicles of Narnia at wallyworld. I look forward to reading the series before the movies come out...mayhaps do a bit of fanart based off the book, not the movie. It will be interesting to see how much of the stories I remember from way back in 5th and sixth grade.

And to Scully and Baggy, I gots a proper pimp hat at the fair...so now there wills be no confusing who da pimp is >>>>O..now I just need a sexy feather to put in it. May take some pics later, don't have any new pics of me anyway..on account of I look like I have leprocy in all the pics taken of me ;).

Aside from that started coloring my 'Moth Lion' pic. I can't seem to get into commission mode but I did start some sketches for you Kaided :).

So without further banter from my end...a wip.


tried to incorporate the color on the wings into the eyes..but when I had more blue in the eyes..well it just looked like a freaky zombie lion. I like it better now...not sure about the feathers on the head or the antennae....I don't want the piece to be cluttered but at the same time there is a reason for them. I wanted the face to be like a mirror of the wings. I think there are reasons for the spots on moth wings looking like eyes, perhaps in a way to deter predators from eating them. So I wanted the lion cubby to look bigger and in a sense..badder so larger predators would leave him be. Even though..obviously such a critter does not exist. Still to some extent I like to have a reason behind the reason I render things the way I do.

Merf ok Im done.

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[shahila.livejournal.com]

My goodness!