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[personal profile] balaa
I still lurk on lj, but it seems as time goes on I post less..share less of myself. I think I feel selfish to share myself, my stories in art or words as many others have more interesting stories that ought to be heard before my own.

But maybe this is just a silly way to think. So I wonder..

I occasionally write for myself..usually things I never share with anyone, mostly because I think them cheesy but still deeply personal. I think there is a fragile part of my ego that will always remain. I know it is silly to worry about what others think, but the thought of someone laughing at something that..however silly it may seem to them, still means something to me really bothers me. On the other hand I feel disconnected and distant from things when I don't share my creations. In many ways just the act of sharing is motivation to continue creating. To open up your vulnerability to the world, and imo creations can be just that, is exhilarating in itself. It's like leaping with your eyes closed and not knowing just where you will land..it's exciting. And at the core of the desire to continue creating is a need for this fuel, to stay excited enough to continue creating...well imho anyway.

SO enough rambling, I wish to make an effort to start sharing more again and being less of a recluse. And to the meat of the matter, would anyone be interested or adverse to seeing me post personal writings? Most of these are just short prose I write at random moments but also sometimes short stories.

I miss ya guys, genuinely! The longer I am away the more I realize how much all you folks feed into my drive to create. That does not mean it is your job or obligation to pat me on the back or feed me compliments. Just knowing you stopped by and looked..or read..or even just glanced is more than enough for me.
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balaa

May 2010

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